Tuesday, May 21, 2013

hey @habibmarwan, @ModernJackBauer is now following you on twitter!


with the news that 24 is goin full Tony Almeida and coming back from the dead, my friend victor and i found ourselves debating an aging jack bauer's ability to effectively prevent terror attacks in a post-post-9/11 world. a conversation that quickly devolved into coming up with scenarios in which Jack struggles to understand things like angry birds. Here's what we came up with.


1:59:37 PM Victor: "chloe, i have the guy right here. I'm moving in."
1:59:41 PM Victor: "wait, jack! reddit is saying it's someone else"
1:59:46 PM Victor: "chloe! get reddit on the phone now. i need to move."
1:59:49 PM Victor: "but reddit's not a person, jack!"
1:59:57 PM Victor: "dammit!!"


2:00:12 PM Nathan: "sending you a photo of the suspect now, jack"
2:00:23 PM Nathan: "chole, whatever you just sent me disappeared after 3 seconds!"
2:00:26 PM Nathan: "damnit!!!"


2:10:38 PM Victor: "alright jack what i need you to do is take a panorama of the warehouse"
2:10:50 PM Victor: "how do i do that?!"
2:10:58 PM Victor: "press the button at the top!"
2:11:06 PM Victor: "it doesnt say panorama!!"
2:11:14 PM Victor: "you need to update your software!!"
2:11:17 PM Victor: "dammit!!!"


2:12:55 PM Nathan: "jack the terrorist just answered  a question on quora 'why do people hate the united states?'. here's a link"
2:13:23 PM Nathan: "it's asking me to login with facebook to read the whole answer!!"
2:13:26 PM Nathan: "damnit!!"


2:12:09 PM Victor: "jack the terrorist just posted a video on youtube heres the link"
2:12:20 PM Victor: "chloe this is a video for some dumb movie coming out this summer!"
2:12:25 PM Victor: "jack thats an ad!"
2:12:28 PM Victor: "dammit!!"


5:48:19 PM Nathan: "damnit chloe, i think i took your phone by mistake and now it's asking me for a password. what's your password, chloe!"
5:48:49 PM Nathan: "oh… jack,…. i'm not really comfortable telling you"
5:49:18 PM Nathan: "chloe, this is a matter of national security. i need your password now."
5:49:26 PM Nathan: "fine, jack, it's…..E-D-G-A-R"
5:50:48 PM Nathan:  "damnit!!!"

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