Thursday, December 16, 2010

When Brains get iPhones, Ads Are Going to Suck


Are you excited to get a computer chip implanted in your brain so that you can receive texts, listen to music and search google from the comfort of your head? Well a lot of people are: so many in fact, that soon Jerry is going to have to send Elaine into the steam room see if Sidra has *brain* implants.

Neural interfacing – as sci-fi Gleeks call it – is a wave of the future that’s getting closer and closer to the beach. But when our iPhone 12s are connected snugly to our brain tissue, when our emails, texts, movies and facts are uplinked instantly into our psyches, advertisements are going to straight up suck.

Consider the changes in the consumption of entertainment and consumption. The absorption of advertisements will change in step.

Right now we listen to music, we watch movies, we read information: we gather the stimuli and then invite it within our castle-walls.

But come the iPhone 12, we won’t listen to music in the traditional sense – you know, with ears and ear drums. The music will instead be experienced, passed from the implant directly into the brain – which takes the meaning of “headphones” to a whole other level.

The same goes for information though – when facts and theories are downloaded into our awareness, we won’t be consciously reading as much as our consciousness will be getting read to.

So then what about advertisements?

Because from the moment you walk out of that AT&T store of the future, which’ll no doubt have an iPhone implanatation brain-drill behind the counter, the advertisements will be there. They always are. In every channel – mail, phone, email, hieroglyphics (the spamming caveman who was scratching directions to his rock-grinding shop in between the etchings of droughts and tribal wars drawn by his archivist buddies). If you build it, marketers will show up and dump on your baseball diamond.

We are already soaked with advertisements, trailed around each day by marketers trying to tell us something, trying to make us feel a certain way about a product, or trying to make us take a certain action. But we don’t have to let them in when they knock. We still possess a filter and at least some degree of agency.

But the iPhone 12 will give marketers their Trojan horse, their drug tunnel from Mexico to the U.S., their drunk co-ed tunnel from the U.S. to Mexico.

The ad will buzz in your brain, shaking your retinas. In the same way that we will begin to “experience” rather than consume communication and entertainment, the tagalong advertisements will start to automatically become a part of us – sidling into our personas while we change the channels on our TV with thought.

1 comment:

zach gerstein said...

Life with an iphone implanted in your brain is like taking an open-note test. Since all the facts are right there you don't need to know anything. You just need to be able to access that information. But if you lose your notes or step out of a service area, you're fucked.