Monday, September 13, 2010

Pavlov's dog, my dog, and why Febreze needs a scent change

I was about to write something about politics, but decided instead to talk about something that is starting to smell like shit. And I’m not thinking about all the D.C. noses like you were, but something a little more unexpected. To myself and others Febreze is starting to smell like straight up poo, which makes me think that for Febreze it is time for a change. (And when it’s time for a change, think…..)

You say: isn’t Febreze supposed to eliminate the shit smell though?

And it does…to a degree close enough for gov’t work. It’s not that the scent of Febreze is itself bad: sniffed objectively Febreze still smells like a BladeRunnin’ flower garden replicant. Febreze resembles flowers in the same way that grape flavored candy tastes like grapes: even though the representation is not even close, we all just apathize like “fuck it”.

Back on track: we didn’t grow up in Plato’s cave – a shadow is shade, and we sniff Febreze within the context of our histories – which is where Pavlov’s dog comes into play ((fetch)).

You know Pavlov’s dog. Pavlov and his friends rang a bell before each dog meal, until Spot started associating ringing bells with 2-piece chicken dinners. After a certain amount of time, Pavlov found that Spot would start salivating whenever he rang the bell. Association is a powerful thing. Curiosity killed the cat, but association put Curiosity’s friend in jail as an accomplice.

I’ve been feeling a lot like Spot recently, in that every time someone sprays Febreze I react like someone sprayed me in the face with shit.

Not that surprising. After years of stink conditioning, I can’t help but associate the smell of straight Febreze with the awful Febrezey-shit-air aftermath of people trying to cover up their nasty ass dumps.

So here is a takeaway: if you sell a product that is used exclusively to cover-up or alleviate bad smells, tastes, or textures you gotta keep your product in flux. You gotta keep Pavlov and Spot in mind. Listen when they tell you that a static cover-up is going to eventually start reminding your customers of the dog shit to be covered.

Lastly: speaking of dogs, my dog Molly used to hump her dog-bed every night after eating dinner – but I’m not sure that that’s relevant here.

1 comment:

Kung Fu Panda said...

You are getting too colon happy