Monday, February 22, 2010

iPhone cases are to plastic-covered couches as..: Why you are as lame as your grandparents

You're as misguided as your grandparents. And not nearly as wise. In this post I'm using grandparents as a subset to refer to the general group of people that put plastic over their couches. I'm sure non-baby's-daddy-daddies also drape plastic, and my grandparents don't - they are even wiser than most - but I'm imagining that a lot of the Floridian elderly do. The plastic on the couch, it makes sense in some capacities: "I just bought this expensive couch, now I must protect my investment, I don't want people spilling, or smudging, or scratching, or my grandkids (my husband) peeing on it." But putting plastic on your couch is paradoxical, for although the plastic does successfully preserve the couch's comfort , the saran-wrapped couch is in itself not comfortable. So you gotta choose, comfort for a little, or comfort never. This fits in with the idea that besides the annual firemen's breakfasts, there is no such thing as a free lunch in this world.

So we talk about the "silly elderly," and their logic that's as blemished as faces that seek Proactiv. But then in the next breath we are talking about the new case that we just bought for our iPhones, "I just bought this expensive phone, so now I must protect my investment..." It sounds familiar, in taking steps to not ruin our pleasure, we ruin our pleasure. Some might argue that protecting an iPhone and protecting a couch are two different things, as the iPhone case protects the function of the phone (phone calls, email), while couch covers make the enjoyment of the function (comfort) impossible. This argument is flawed, in that if I wanted just the phone function, I'd have a lesser phone than the fly-Phone; at least some of the value of having an iPhone derives from its enchanting sorcery. And yet we buy the iPhone and then bury its mystique beneath clunky plastic. Apparently, despite what we'd like to think, we are no better than the couch people.

i think there might be a moral in here but I'm not going to get into it.

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