Thursday, July 17, 2008

Indulgences and Carbon Credits

Back in the day, like the Middle Ages:

Rupert and John the Blacksmith are talking in the back of John's shop

Rupert: So, I was thinking about cheating on my wife with that peasant girl who is always coming by.

John: That is sinful, Rupert. Am I wrong?

Rupert: Nah, don't worry about it. I'll just buy some indulgences from the church after, and it will be all good.

John: True. So did you hear about that new 2/3 field system?

And. Scene.

Ok so I am not a playwright, but I always play right. But remember back some time in the middle ages, the church got all scandalously down with these indulgences, wherein a sinful popper who did not play right could simply buy forgiveness. Although indulgences were apparently intended to be accompanied by various repenting actions of the sinner, more often than not they were seen as the easy way out of sin and into heaven. boo, yah. Sounds a little suspect to me. But is it so much different than the carbon credit system?

Check out my second one-act:

Rupert: So I think I'm going to buy a hummer?

John: Like a BJ?

Rupert: No, like the car.

John: That is quite the carbon footprint. Am I wrong?

Rupert: Nah, don't worry about it. I'll just buy some carbon credits.

John: True. You watch American Idol last night?

And. Scene.

Sometimes it seems as though carbon credits are becoming as hollow as were the indulgences, which we now look back on as sneaky bullshit. Hence, carbon credits must be accompanied by other "repenting" actions. If carbon neutrality is a religion, we should not be able to buy our way into heaven. Otherwise, we will be left black-plagued, and missing our teeth like them trapped in the Middle. 

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